Talk in SIS May 2, 2018
Although I dislike public speaking, I appreciate the opportunity to process some thoughts and recent events in my life. I'm supposed to talk about a parable of Jesus, and I was drawn to "consider the lilies". I'm not sure that's a parable but my biblical scholar daughter says it is, so I'm using it!
In Matthew 6:28-30 we read, "And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?"
"Consider the lilies" means that Heavenly Father gives me exactly what I need in the moment I need it.
On January 30 of 2017, I drove to Del Mar to meet my oldest and dearest friend of 30 years for our regular Monday walk, and was instead met by one of our mutual friends who told me that our friend was in the hospital with stage four cancer and had only days to live. I was naturally shocked and devastated. She's my age and has been like a sister to me for most of my life.
Well, days turned into weeks, she returned home and regained her stamina and we resumed our Monday walks! We also spent many hours together designing a quilt for her little nephew. This quilt project was a great blessing to me as color, creation, and design are a such a balm and balance for my worries.
On March 30 my first grandchild was born!
On April 16 I gave an Easter talk in sacrament meeting about how the natural world and daily events of our lives are full of resurrection messages.
I have a nonspeaking 16-year-old autistic son named Sam who is extremely developmentally disabled and I assumed profoundly mentally retarded. On April 17 I started him on letterboard lessons and discovered that he can read, spell, do math, and is really smart and totally aware of everything!
On May 15 my younger brother was flying a small plane carrying his girlfriend and her two small boys from Puerto Rico to Florida and they crashed in the ocean. The coast guard searched for a week and found only one small piece of the plane and a seat cushion.
Even during this tragedy, I was so aware and grateful that my dear friend was alive and right by my side to support me through this unspeakable event.
Two weeks later we drove to Utah to celebrate my grandson's baby blessing. On the long drive I worked on plans for my brother's memorial, and was met in Utah by cousins who went out of their way to drive to Orem so they could give me a hug.
In the beginning of June, my adult son and daughter with her newborn baby flew to NH with me for my brother's service, and I got to hold my sweet new grandson through the whole thing. Friends and family showered our family with love, music, stunning floral arrangements, stories, and food. My adult kids drove me around for an hour after the service and asked me to "talk about my feelings".
I continued to go on Monday walks with my friend and work on the quilt with her and she listened to me share my sorrows and joys and I did the same for her. She especially cheered for Sam continued progress in spelling to communicate!
In September my adult son who has been out of the church and living six hours away for the past ten years, surprised us by wanting to move back home with his dog! We had not been super close because of the physical and religious distance but he has turned out to be a wonderful brother and trainer for Sam, and an emotionally intelligent and mature son!
Sam used to be extremely self-injurious and part of our shared mission is to help other kids recover from what he went through. In mid-September the company I sell products for released a new item that seemed very promising. I shared about it online and a mom who had just lived through a frightening incident with her son reached out to me. I sent her some products to try and he improved almost immediately and we became instant friends. Seeing the hand of God use Sam and me to help other families is so humbling and strengthening to us.
Sam continued to reveal more and more of himself through his letterboard lessons and started home study seminary which he loves. After we finished listening to the Book of Mormon audiobook, I felt prompted to bear testimony of the Book of Mormon in fast and testimony meeting. Sam and I walked to the pulpit together where, miraculously, he stood completely still by my side and I was voice to our shared testimony.
One month ago, after living joyfully and energetically for more than a year after her diagnosis, my friend passed away peacefully in her sleep. I will be attending her memorial this Saturday. I cry every day about her and my brother. I miss talking to her about my joys and challenges, and texting her cute videos of my grandson. I don't know what to do with my need to text her and talk with her. And it has been almost a year since my brother's passing and I still can't quite believe or process what happened.
On May 15 my younger brother was flying a small plane carrying his girlfriend and her two small boys from Puerto Rico to Florida and they crashed in the ocean. The coast guard searched for a week and found only one small piece of the plane and a seat cushion.
Even during this tragedy, I was so aware and grateful that my dear friend was alive and right by my side to support me through this unspeakable event.
Two weeks later we drove to Utah to celebrate my grandson's baby blessing. On the long drive I worked on plans for my brother's memorial, and was met in Utah by cousins who went out of their way to drive to Orem so they could give me a hug.
In the beginning of June, my adult son and daughter with her newborn baby flew to NH with me for my brother's service, and I got to hold my sweet new grandson through the whole thing. Friends and family showered our family with love, music, stunning floral arrangements, stories, and food. My adult kids drove me around for an hour after the service and asked me to "talk about my feelings".
I continued to go on Monday walks with my friend and work on the quilt with her and she listened to me share my sorrows and joys and I did the same for her. She especially cheered for Sam continued progress in spelling to communicate!
In September my adult son who has been out of the church and living six hours away for the past ten years, surprised us by wanting to move back home with his dog! We had not been super close because of the physical and religious distance but he has turned out to be a wonderful brother and trainer for Sam, and an emotionally intelligent and mature son!
Sam used to be extremely self-injurious and part of our shared mission is to help other kids recover from what he went through. In mid-September the company I sell products for released a new item that seemed very promising. I shared about it online and a mom who had just lived through a frightening incident with her son reached out to me. I sent her some products to try and he improved almost immediately and we became instant friends. Seeing the hand of God use Sam and me to help other families is so humbling and strengthening to us.
Sam continued to reveal more and more of himself through his letterboard lessons and started home study seminary which he loves. After we finished listening to the Book of Mormon audiobook, I felt prompted to bear testimony of the Book of Mormon in fast and testimony meeting. Sam and I walked to the pulpit together where, miraculously, he stood completely still by my side and I was voice to our shared testimony.
One month ago, after living joyfully and energetically for more than a year after her diagnosis, my friend passed away peacefully in her sleep. I will be attending her memorial this Saturday. I cry every day about her and my brother. I miss talking to her about my joys and challenges, and texting her cute videos of my grandson. I don't know what to do with my need to text her and talk with her. And it has been almost a year since my brother's passing and I still can't quite believe or process what happened.
But even though I cry every day, my days are also full of joy!
This Friday night I will be taking my sixteen-year-old son to his first prom. He will look dashing in his new purple shirt and silver bow tie!
Last week I shared natural products for anxiety with six brilliant nonspeaking autistic teenagers. One of them was so anxious about walking outside that he had not been on a walk in a year. He went on his first walk last week!
I am not an animal person at all, but last week I got brave and learned how to take my grand-dog on a walk! What a small thing that is good for my health and brings another creature so much pure joy! My friend was so good at lighting a fire under me and making me walk even when I didn't want to and she was in pain. I feel like my grand-dog is carrying on that job for her.
In Utah last week I visited my kids and grandson, a one-year-old giggling wonder baby, celebrated Julia's BYU graduation, and felt inspired to plan for Sam to attend EFY at BYU next year!
As President Uchtdorf teaches, we can be grateful no matter what. "In any circumstance, our sense of gratitude is nourished by the many and sacred truths we do know: that our Father has given His children the great plan of happiness; that through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, we can live forever with our loved ones; that in the end, we will have glorious, perfect, and immortal bodies, unburdened by sickness or disability; and that our tears of sadness and loss will be replaced with an abundance of happiness and joy, "good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over." (This whole talk is absolutely fantastic for anyone who is grieving!) https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng
This past 14 months during this time of loss I'm simultaneously experiencing joy and wonderful surprises like I've never known. I call it a "miracle shower".
Last week I shared natural products for anxiety with six brilliant nonspeaking autistic teenagers. One of them was so anxious about walking outside that he had not been on a walk in a year. He went on his first walk last week!
I am not an animal person at all, but last week I got brave and learned how to take my grand-dog on a walk! What a small thing that is good for my health and brings another creature so much pure joy! My friend was so good at lighting a fire under me and making me walk even when I didn't want to and she was in pain. I feel like my grand-dog is carrying on that job for her.
In Utah last week I visited my kids and grandson, a one-year-old giggling wonder baby, celebrated Julia's BYU graduation, and felt inspired to plan for Sam to attend EFY at BYU next year!
As President Uchtdorf teaches, we can be grateful no matter what. "In any circumstance, our sense of gratitude is nourished by the many and sacred truths we do know: that our Father has given His children the great plan of happiness; that through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, we can live forever with our loved ones; that in the end, we will have glorious, perfect, and immortal bodies, unburdened by sickness or disability; and that our tears of sadness and loss will be replaced with an abundance of happiness and joy, "good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over." (This whole talk is absolutely fantastic for anyone who is grieving!) https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng
This past 14 months during this time of loss I'm simultaneously experiencing joy and wonderful surprises like I've never known. I call it a "miracle shower".
