Tuesday, March 27, 2012: Hopeful and Excited

My son has Spring break this week and I arranged months in advance to have the respite nurse come three times. Today wasn't a nurse day and he was agitated for most of it but there were some wonderful moments and steps made that helped me feel like we're really making progress. I made plans to do several errands in the Target center which has a lot of stores so I could park once and push my son around in the stroller, getting my exercise and not having to transition him much. But as I drove there I had the distinct impression to stop at the pediatrician's first and pick up the lab report for the first set of tests requested by our homeopath.  He got out of the car willingly and walked and ran and was adorable! I picked up the report and my son was so excited to walk around that I took him upstairs to ask the diagnostic lab what special instructions there were for the next set of tests, which included a stool test for H. Pylori. (I had been looking forward to getting this done but was putting it off because I thought it would be inconvenient.) It turns out it will be easy--they just gave me a specimen container to take home. I am so grateful that I felt prompted to stop there because this is another big step on the path! My son enjoyed the stroller ride at the shopping center and I was able to buy a few things at Target, get copies made at Office Depot, look at housewares at Ross, and pick up food for dinner at Stater Brothers. The stores were busy and crowded with a lot of kids on Spring break. Everywhere but at church, kids always stare really obviously at my son and I tried not to let this bother me. I was running his stroller around in figure eights in front of the meat counter while I was waiting for my order and was very conspicuous but tried to remember that I was showing onlookers what a loving mother does. At 4:30 my teenage helpers came to take my son for a walk and at this point I was really ready for a break because he had been fussy for most of the day. When they came back an hour later they said he had been perfectly happy the entire time! I fed him dinner and then at 6:00 his occupational therapist arrived and spent an hour of trampoline-jumping-swinging-singing delight that left me in complete awe at how blessed I am. My son had seen this therapist a few times at the clinic but he had been so agitated that I couldn't handle taking him to the clinic any more so she and his speech therapist arranged to take turns coming to our home! They care so much and want to help him so much. When she left she told my son, "I KNEW the real you was in there!" It was an hour of joy and laughter. It made me realize how true the promise in my Patriarchal Blessing is that I will have "good counselors and leaders" in my life. The list is a very long one, including these wonderful therapists, our homeopath, and our pediatrician. Speaking of the pediatrician, I talked to her on the phone about the lab results and she said we would need to see an endocrinologist about these strange hormone results (elevated prolactin and DHEA-sulfate). I am not in a rush to do this as I know that our homeopath sees the big picture. I am so excited that she insisted on testing him for "every hormone, even the female ones" even though the pediatrician did not see the point of this. I am grateful that the pediatrician went along with it anyway. I am so excited about being a pioneer on this journey that will hopefully help many other children if our pediatrician is open-minded enough to pay attention to these unusual results and how the homeopath is treating them. Our pediatrician also told me that she ordered the test kits for hair and stool analysis from doctorsdata.com that can only be ordered by a doctor, and they are available for pick up at her office. I told her how grateful I am that she is so efficient and willing to support me on this journey. By the way, Sam pooed in the toilet TWICE this afternoon and evening! 1. Happy Dance! 2. Happy Dance! To add to my gratitude list for the day, I got to hear my husband tell his ongoing story of "Jack and the Organic Beanstalk" while we got our son ready for bed. Our son's eyes looked deep into his dad's as he lay there calmly and listened to the story. After that, my husband and I watched the first half of "Bridge on the River Kwai" together while we had ice cream and cake. He loves old war movies and westerns and I actually really enjoyed this one. I went to bed LOOKING FORWARD to my son's ginormous morning poo so I could take samples!! I am grateful that on top of being important, this journey is intellectually interesting. I'm feeling a unique yet familiar sense of excitement. In trying to recall when I'd felt that way before, I realized that this is how I always feel in late pregnancy...when I can't wait to meet my new child.

Loving Words and Thoughts

I am making a conscious effort to say very positive things to my son from now on.

Yesterday in the car my daughter asked me if he had been really good because I was saying such nice things to him, and I said no..... And she said, "Oh, did you have an epiphany?"....

Well, yes. I've been realizing that he must be an extraordinarily pure and noble spirit to have chosen to come to Earth in this limited body that usually doesn't feel good and can't communicate. He has come here to teach the rest of us something, not the other way around.

So I need to look beyond the hitting and the yelling and the head-banging, and see him as the sweet, pure spirit that he is inside. Here are some things I've been saying to him:

"You're such a good boy."

"You're so smart."

"You are so good at eating all kinds of things that are good for you."

"You are so good at taking medicine that will help your body even though it doesn't taste good."

"Thank you for using your voice."

"You're going to feel better soon." (repeated over and over in a soothing voice, instead of yelling at him to stop hitting himself.)