A lot of change seems to be happening in my life, including my trying to accept that my three older kids are spending most of their time away from home and even the United States. One grown child who lives a few hours drive from here talks about moving to Portland or NYC, one is in Jerusalem, and one is in Mexico. Meanwhile, my youngest has grown taller than both his parents and all but one of his siblings; even though he's progressing I feel more and more concerned (and guilty) that he is still in diapers and nonverbal and wondering how we are ever going to keep taking care of him as we age and he just grows stronger.
One way I've been coping with missing my older kids is by adopting a young mom whose own mom passed away about six months ago, helping her decorate her house, and decorating my patio and having their little family over for dinner. My friend's little girls notice everything cute I make so it's very rewarding. I call them my "practice grandchildren." (And Heavenly Father knows that decorating is key to my joy!) Another thing I've been doing is massively decluttering my house (preparing for the second half of my life) and this afternoon I was dusting off (literally!!) an old journal and found a letter from a friend who had written about being guided and protected by God even through times of great change. Reading her reassuring words was almost like uncovering a lost page in my patriarchal blessing and was so comforting to me today!
"And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha." 2 Kings 6:16-17
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