Monday, January 16, 2012: Tomorrow Will Be Better

Weather: Cold, damp, rainy I was awakened at 5:30am by the sound of him hitting his head. Went in and put the vibrating toothbrush to his ear with the red helmet and he calmed right down. I slept next to him for about an hour and he stayed asleep with the vibration until 8:00am. His voice sounds hoarse—maybe he is getting sick. Is he reacting to the new vitamin c? Homeopath says that is unlikely. Sand is leaking out of his leg weights and when I touch it my fingertips turn black—probably some toxic substance from China……. Need to discard those and come up with something else. He pooed FOUR times today!! (As of 9pm, that is. The night is still young….) He smiled today while we were riding in the car. He smiled and laughed in the house for one half hour between 5:30 and 6pm. On his mood chart I used the phrase "WILD ANIMAL" (yes, in all caps) to describe his behavior on three separate occasions, all related to poopy diapers. Please, oh, please, I need tomorrow to be better. Please, I need some answers. Please, I need to see some progress. I am trying so hard with these treatments. Please, let him sleep through the night. Please, let him be reasonable getting ready for school tomorrow. Please, let him go to school tomorrow and be healthy and happy and cooperative and the teacher not even think of calling me. I realize that I am lavishly blessed and I don't deserve anything to be better as I have friends with worse trials who are not being relieved. But I pray for relief anyway. I am thankful that I got to see him laugh today. I am thankful that my daughter was home for part of the day, took down the Christmas tree, and got him ready for bed. I am thankful that he is in bed now. I am thankful that my husband was home to help me change the fourth poopy diaper. I am thankful that I was able to get his organic food shopping done with him in his stroller, and that he didn't have a meltdown when we were out. I am thankful that I didn't run into "her" at the store and have to use one of many responses I practiced in case she would criticize me. I'm thankful that I got to have a silly conversation with my daughter during the half hour that he was happy. (I apologized for being "Debbie Downer" and she said, "No, you're Peggy Pessimistic." I'm thankful that I live in a place where normally I get to see the sun almost every day. I think today would have felt not as hard if the sun were out. I'm going to keep being thankful until I'm in a better mood. I'm thankful for public school. I'm thankful that the corn muffins just came out of the oven. I'm thankful that I make the best chocolate chip cookies in history. I'm thankful that I got to go out to a movie with my husband on Saturday night. I'm thankful for butter. OK, that's good. Off to have a hot muffin with butter!